Relevant

By the hand of Jeremy Dolan... "Worm"

Rediscovered some writings from my most recent false imprisonment when probation was violated by Officer Smith, with the use of illegitimate form to create false positive urinalysis.
Collection facility Xed out because it is
the same as the "employer" listed...
DOC
Temperature must be recorded within
4 minutes of collection... yea
that's blank too.

June 24, 2015 Friday
And here I am again.  Yesterday was the anniversary of when I was originally arrested.  I had video arraignment before Judge Simon (the judge that took my house).  Amusingly, he set my court date for July 14 (the anniversary of when he took my house).  The irony did not escape me.  It means another three weeks here, my confidence in a public defender doing anything for me is nonexistent.  My expectation is more ineffective counsel.
Three more weeks away from my kids, another whole summer.  Just so wrong, there are not words.  
I am required to stay in confinement the whole time.  I was very vocal about having been exposed to sex offenders repeatedly.  And I will continue.  Already Byers (Nurse Pract.) has started his shit trying to get me to take meds for an ailment for which I have no symptoms.  Supposedly, when I gave a urine sample it tested positive for UTI, so him being so concerned for my well being, he sent Sassy (nurse) down with "antibiotics".  Sure pal, non-compliant.  I don't have a fever, stomach not hurting, doesn't burn to pee...Think I'll pass.  I will let ya know if any symptoms appear.
On June 15, the day I was taken into custody, while I was still in holding, I was visited by an officer and a detective with the Sheriff's office, regarding a FB post.  Deputy Alloy, who does their podcast.  I mistook him for Ramirez and shared the podcast with comment about him parading me past sex offenders after they had been given access to me in the shower and were speaking of raping me.  I was mortified that I had mistaken his identity, terrible accusations to make of a decent human being.  I can only hope that the detective that was with him (seemed like a decent human as well) was internal affairs.  Maybe he is investigating the incident.  Officer Alloy said he was going to speak with Captain Stearns and see if there is some way to resolve the matter???  Can't take it back, dude...what do you suggest?  Doubt it is something I'll ever forget.  Maybe they'll buy me that green duly truck I keep seeing in my mind.  LMAO!  Sure, and buy me and the kids season passes to Lego Land.  Any day now, ma'am, your check is in your mouth.
Three more fuckin' weeks... I hope I can make myself sleep some more.
                                                                                                 Dragon Titus


"Sometimes, Lord, it seems as if I can only see the knots and tangles in the tapestry of my life.  Please help me open my eyes and see the beautiful picture You are weaving."

   6-25-15, Saturday
The weekends are always so damn long and miserable here.  I hope my miserable old dad is not being mean to Baer.  I hope Chris is keeping the kids spirits up.  I hope Savana is not saving up money to run away.  I've tried calling, no use.  I'm sure mom is loving that I'm here, with nothing and as usual, no one who cares.  I imagine there will be no i-cares of fresh favorites this time.  I'll never understand how a person can hate their own child so much.  Thank You, Lord, for the immeasurable love I have for my children.  I am eternally grateful.

July 1, 2016 Friday
Mom sent a postcard informing me she had added money to the phone so I could call the children.  I've made 4 attempts and there is money there but nobody is answering, naturally.  Oh well, dad would probably just use it as ammunition to torment Baer, let him find his own.
I wrote a letter to Chris.  If it gets mailed, ever, just maybe he'll get my debit card and send me some food.  I begged a little.  Just so damn hungry.  I managed to make a trade today.  I ended up with three indigent packets of paper, post cards, & envelopes, so Amber my isolation neighbor, wanted some post cards so I traded her 6 for tuna & mayo and 2 sheets of paper and 2 envelopes for crackers.  Awesomeness!  That will be a killer snack.
Amy is in S dorm and has colors.  She brought in dinner trays last night and said Donna said "Hey".  Amy said she's skinny as a rail, she hardly recognized her but she is feeding her, she requests lots of cupcakes. It's probably the best place for her, I'm sure if she's that bad off the investigators that supply her made the arrangements so she could recover.  They'll let her spend a couple, few months, gain some weight & get healthy, then get her back out.  They'll probably lose quite a bit of money, but I'm sure it won't hurt them that bad.  They have cornered the market and monopolized the local drug trade, bound to be pretty well set. And it's not like she is their only distributor.  They have plenty scattered throughout the county.  And I'm quite certain they recently recruited Worm.
Everyone is dead to me.  I fully intend to delete my FB and change my phone # upon my release, if that ever comes.  It's been a week since arraignment and I've heard nothing so I imagine Judge Simon had no luck finding me conflict free counsel.  I wonder what happens under those circumstances??  If forced to represent myself I am thinking to say "I am here for not wearing a seat belt, everything else is fabricated and retaliation.  Plenty of public record documentation will validate that fact."  Surely the probation officers are required to include correspondence???  Seems conceivable.
No major treachery.  Little creepy shit... one day during my hour out, the first in three days that I took.  Immediately after I stepped out of the shower some guard (male on the floor) came in and strolled slowly through.  Humming and whistling (creepy fucker).  He went upstairs and walked the balcony, even though there is nobody housed up there.  Psychopath manipulation, intimidation, insinuated threats.  I made such a big deal about the P door incident, they will use that.  Good, R dorm is not connected to P, so the best they can do is try to mind fuck, LMAO... keep trying fucktards.  Almighty God, Everlasting Jesus, & all the archangels still winning!

Sunday July 3, 2016
Hour out is basically sad and pathetic, nobody to call, nobody who cares.  I considered calling Kim and pleading with her to add money to my books and have Chris get it back to her, but really, I don't even know if Chris got my stuff from Kathy's.  If not, there is a strong possibility that Kathy or the scum she's chosen to keep company with have already taken care of whatever may be on my debit card.  Sad as it may be, at least I know what to expect, less than nothing.  Low-life junkie shit, 20 years... how stupid of me to not have known sooner.  And once I did know... how cowardly of me to keep pretending they were more.  I am merely an embarrassment to Kim anymore, charity.  I guess.  And to Kathy??? Convenience; someone else willing to enable her.  Everything for a reason, though.  Almighty
God's Plan.  I pray it includ3es liberty for me, in Jesus' merciful name.
I miss my babies so much.

Monday July 4
I don't get my hour out until 5 today and the cart comes during the night shift.  So, I asked Amber, one of my fellow isolationees, to call the house for me.  Dad answered!?!  Maybe he'll have some pity on me and make mom add money to my account.  He's certainly more likely than she is to feel bad, and she'll do what he says.  Touch his heart merciful Jesus, I pray, I so verily want some jaw breakers... and some soap that smells good.  Maybe, just maybe the cart will have shampoo and conditioner??  Just one of those crazy cool occurrences that happen from time to time.  In favor of something I need.  Not really a need, I guess, but cleanliness is next to godliness, isn't it said?  Not trying to be blasphemous, just hopeful.  I'm sure my being in isolation and having someone else call will pull on dad's heartstrings.  The only way I can successfully communicate with those people is guilt trips.  Sad shit.
Deputy Musik on the floor today.  Woo my, but she obviously doesn't like Amber.  They had words earlier.  I just don't say much to any of them.  Not a thing unless I have to... that whole nothing nice to say, say nothing mentality.  I say nothing, keeps me out of trouble.  And they already have orders to retaliate, why give them the justification to feel good about it?  So far, none of the female guards has tried any treachery.  Just fuckery from Byers (the UTI bullshit) and the creepy male guard coming in immediately after my shower (don't know his name though).  I didn't look at hi face.  I'm pretty sure he was the same one on duty the morning I thought they were denying me access to court again.

July 12, 2016
Always another mystery...my new neighbor in isolation, Rachel Kopy.  It reminds me, and I believe is confirmation, that just two or maybe three days before my arrest Lauri mentioned Amber's name because she had some lortabs to sell.  I guess I know now who sent them.  Not a surprise really.  It doesn't change anything as far as I'm concerned.  They are all dead to me.  Everyone except for Colby.  I will delete my FB, change my phone #.  I have nothing left to give, no longer wish to entertain the selfishness of so many people who pretend to be something they're not; friends.  An illusion I can no longer afford, not one of them cares about anything but themselves.
Psyche was after me bright and early today.  Court is Thursday, and the message I sent for Julie
Edwards refusing to speak to their psychologist was picked up yesterday.  I stated that I had witnessed that strategy when Cynthia Nash, practicing misrepresentation, did not speak a word, just pointed out two lines from her file to Judge John Miller, and Sherry Cook-Lowery was deemed incompetent wrongfully, and sentenced to the state hospital, October 15.  Also, that they craftily created a fabricated criminal record for me, that I will not allow their racketeering influenced criminal organization to create a mental health history for me.  This morning when psyche had me sign a refusal and asked that i give a reason, I stated basically the same thing, and requested a copy...have not yet received the copy.  Also put in a request on the kiosk for a copy of my entire medical file, including psyche.  Also requested a copy of the incident report concerning Clint and myself declining battery charges, and a copy of the document I signed regarding the requirement for isolation.  Funds currently available for copies...  Lots of sergeants walked through today.  Interesting.  Tomorrow will probably be quite treacherous, stay with me, Lord...I know You will!  I am grateful for all You do that I am not even aware of, and could not begin to imagine.  In Jesus' name, I pray for liberty Father.  I pray for deliverance from this place.  I pray for justice, Lord, may I be judged by my deeds, and not by their transgressions.  Raise me up, please sacred Jesus, I pray the time has come.  I beg You, Lord, for mercy for  my children, as well.  Please Divine One, take us in Your loving hands and deliver us from Your enemies, and ours, those that strive to extinguish the light that You shine through us to guide those who would follow You.  Eternally grateful, readily available, please God, loose me and my children so that we will be at liberty to guide them.  In the name of my salvation, Jesus.  Amen.

The following is a letter that I wrote to my mother while I was falsely imprisoned.  I never sent it...my existence is enough irritation for her.  Honestly, I'm certain the cruelty with which she responds to me anymore did not used to be all consuming.  There used to be decency between us.  I don't know what happened to make it possible for her to add to the tremendous difficulties that are now my reality.  I could not imagine being so cruel to someone who had lost everything, as I have, even if I thought it was deserved.  I wouldn't add to the mountains of complications that I am trying to work through to restore my clean record and some semblance of the reputation of awesome character that I worked hard for my whole life.  I thought I had lived my life in such a way that if someone said something bad about me nobody would believe it.  I guess a lifetime of honesty and kindness can not compete with indoctrinated blind belief in authority.  Of course, nobody wants to believe that their local law enforcement is corrupt enough to do the things that have been done to me, an innocent citizen, guilty of nothing more than failing to wear a seat belt.  The letter...

Citation A477COE, failing to wear seatbelt,
disabled veteran tag, three women,
nothing resembling probable
cause!

Monday July 4, 2016
So I will attempt, AGAIN, to explain myself, though I doubt it will do a bit of good.  But I finally figured out that your current excuse for hating me is yet another misunderstanding resulting from you drawing conclusions when you don't have a clue where my motivations come from.
I told the probation officer repeatedly that I was afraid for my safety and the safety of my children... FROM THEM NOT FROM YOU ASSHOLE.  The real enemy, the ones who kept showing up at your house and intimidating and questioning my children, trying to make them turn against me.  And I feel I was successful in protecting them because Rob Secola (probably your new best friend) put in writing that my children were safe in your custody.  THAT was what I was trying to achieve.  So that I am somewhat assured that if they continue to harass your household and my children, I have documented evidence that they had NO CAUSE.
I can only conclude that you have such a hard time comprehending because I am only ever motivated by love, and I imagine you don't fucking have any.  So keep your hatred to yourself, I'm  not interested.  I was attempting to protect EVERYONE from more bullshit.  Your welcome.  And thanks a whole hell of a lot, I didn't EVER expect any help from you, it's obvious that you are on their side, quite set on making me out to be the enemy in the minds of my children and everybody else.  But I will not claim your hatred, that is your choice.  I'm still sorting through the sadness and devastation of losing EVERYTHING, and not having ONE SINGLE FUCKING PERSON in this world that gives a shit about me or will speak a single word in my defense.  So, just keep telling and believing lies about me, and painting me as the one that is doing the horrible things.  I'll take all the blame you want to put on me, may as well.
                                                                                        Stacey
                                                                                              Dragon Titus, God's warrior


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